Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
