this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
