U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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