Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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