If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
