Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think my moral compass just broke
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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