Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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