Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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