She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
being pregnant is like rehab
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
