He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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