He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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