So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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