Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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