I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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