i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
