it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
