I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
