Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
