She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no you cant smoke seaweed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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