Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
