so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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