he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
