Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
