my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your penis caused this!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize