yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
