If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
