Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize