Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
