Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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