omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And then my night got REAL pukey
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
