There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
try to milk me bitch
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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