is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
