Buhtt sex?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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