And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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