Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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