noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
