I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize