I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
