Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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