okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
