I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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