I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
