you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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