yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
