i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
