How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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