can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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