I wanna passion pit in your ass
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
