The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
