She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
