There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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