I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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