I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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