How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize