yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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