I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The best revenge is premature balding
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Be still, my beating vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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