The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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