dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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