There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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