I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
