after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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