You work out of a Hotel?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
