I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
