Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
