If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
