I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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