yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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