How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didn't notice because vodka
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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