She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
