I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
