You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
a search helicopter?!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
